Homeschooling by Default: When Autism Programs Shut the Door - Finding Cooper's Voice

Here we are at the start of another school year.

My daughter is sixteen years old and should be beginning her junior year of high school. Instead, she’s at home with me. For now, I’ll be the one working on her IEP goals. Her school district is a mess, and the special education program is the biggest part of the disaster.

Before anyone chimes in to remind me that our state has school choice—yes, I know. I’ve looked into it. But many of the schools that advertise themselves as being for kids with autism don’t actually want Level 3 autism. Not the kind that comes with behaviors, that may require more one on one support.

The kind of autism that doesn’t fit neatly into their programs or their budgets.

There is one school that might be a decent fit (at least compared to the others), but they have a waitlist for her grade.

So for now, it’s me. And her. Again.

And the truth is, I don’t mind working with her. I’ve been doing it her entire life, and I’m actually pretty good at it. But my issue is that she deserves more than just me. She deserves to know other people. She deserves peer interaction. Friendship. Socialization. Community. She needs more than what I alone can give her.

And that’s what breaks my heart.

Why do so many “autism” schools or “special needs” programs completely shut down when you mention significant needs? Why do they shift in their seats, look away, and mumble about staffing or resources, as if they weren’t expecting this part of the spectrum to show up?

This week, I started working on a program for her at home. We began quietly and without ceremony. No first day of school picture this year, because honestly, I couldn’t pretend. I couldn’t fake a smile or act like I’m okay with how this all played out.