Is It Oversharing or Just Autism? What Parents Should Know

Have you ever met someone who shares everything? They seem to have no filter when it comes to anything they tell you. This is known as oversharing, and it can be concerning, depending on the social situation. It’s also a very common trait for those diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder.

Autism oversharing often occurs when autistic people miss social cues and don’t understand typical social limits. But why do so many people with an autism diagnosis overshare personal information?

Why do some autistic individuals overshare?

The reasons for oversharing can be a combination of factors, but those factors can be heightened among people diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder.

They may struggle with social cues, be hyper-focused on certain details or specific interests, or overshare due to anxiety or sensory overload.

These factors may lead them to share details that are too personal or even need to express themselves if they find their surroundings overwhelming.

It should be noted that autistic oversharing is not necessarily a sign of rudeness or seeking attention. Many autistic people prefer more direct communication that may not align with how others act during these social interactions.

People with an autism diagnosis may also overshare because they desire connection and understanding. They may believe that sharing these details will help others understand their perspective.

Is autistic oversharing a problem?

In its simplest form, no, autistic oversharing isn’t a problem on its own. However, there are situations where oversharing can become a problem for people with autism.

Sometimes, oversharing is harmless, as autistic individuals engage in open communication because it makes them feel comfortable. This direct communication can help autistic people build trust and transparency with their neurotypical peers.

However, some instances of oversharing cross over into problematic territory. The context may be inappropriate for oversharing.

The autistic person in question may not have established the proper trust with the person to whom they are speaking, making the other person in the conversation feel confused and awkward about the sharing of personal details.

The oversharing can also come across as an information dump, where too much is being delivered at once. Oversharing in these instances can lead to uncomfortable social communication.

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Oversharing and safety: When to set boundaries

While it may be a common trait for autistic individuals to overshare, it can be dangerous if they don’t know when and where to set boundaries.

Sharing personal information may build connections with others, but it’s crucial for people with autism to understand when not to share to protect their safety and well-being.

Some potentially risky situations include:

• sharing with a wide audience, like online communities
• sharing location information that may alert criminals when they are not home
• revealing identity information that may make them a target for criminals
• discussing sensitive topics at work or school

Once autistic individuals recognize these situations that make oversharing risky, they can then establish strategies to set boundaries.

These strategies will allow them to protect both themselves and the people with whom they are communicating.

Some of these strategies include:

• Pause and reflect: Stopping to think before speaking can help people with autism know when information is appropriate or not.
• Set clear boundaries: Decide what topics may make the speaker or listener uncomfortable and steer clear of them.
• Listen carefully: Use active listening in conversations to hear what others have to say and recognize topics that may be off-limits.
• Redirect the conversation: If someone is oversharing, the listener can try to guide the conversation back to more comfortable topics.
• Be direct but polite: People with autism will often appreciate direct social communication, so speaking plainly and openly, yet still politely, can help them recognize they are oversharing.

It’s also important to help your loved one with autism understand that establishing boundaries is not dishonest and can help protect everyone involved in the conversation.

How to help autistic children and teens build social awareness

If the autistic individuals struggling with oversharing are teens or children, they may have to be taught more about awareness during social interactions.

There are several ways to build social awareness among children and teens with autism, including structured learning, practical skill building, and real-world practice.

Structured learning

Visual supports can be beneficial when using structured learning to teach social self-awareness to autistic teens and children.

Social stories, pictures, and prompt cards can help break down abstract social concepts into concrete steps that are easier to understand.

This can help build a predictable and supportive environment that helps them recognize when they might be oversharing in social situations.

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Practical skill building

Parents and caregivers can help autistic individuals develop practical skills to recognize appropriate subjects and behaviors.

Practical skill building can include:

• Role playing: Practicing social interactions in supportive environments to build confidence and familiarity.
• Social stories: These visual aids can help children and teens understand behaviors that are common in specific situations.
• Peer interaction: Playdates and buddy programs can help autistic children interact with peers, allowing them to observe practical skills and build relationships with others.

Real-world practice

Once you’ve practiced structured learning and developed practical skills, it’s time to apply those social awareness strategies in the real world. That can include experimenting with community activities that align with the child’s special interests.

Parents and caregivers can seek support from therapists or counselors who may recognize the child’s struggles and challenges and help guide them as they grow into adults.

It’s also important to collaborate with family members and your child’s school to establish a strong network that fosters a sense of community.

Encourage self-expression without shame

While oversharing can be problematic if not addressed, it’s essential for parents and caregivers to allow children and adults with autism to express themselves without being shamed for the amount they share.

A person with autism may struggle with oversharing, but their honesty and openness should never be punished. Reframing the conversation should always be about building skills, not discipline.

Parents and caregivers can help their loved ones on the autism spectrum recognize specific topics and interests that may be a good focus.

Provide examples and help your loved one understand that self-expression is essential for valid communication. This can foster healthy relationships and promote a deeper understanding of emotions for loved ones on the autism spectrum.

Oversharing or just being honest? Supporting your autistic child’s voice

Individuals with autism may struggle to recognize when they are oversharing. They may see it as open and honest communication when they share seemingly every detail with their friends, family, or anyone to whom they start talking.

They may have a hard time recognizing others don’t share their intense interests, but boundaries can be established and taught with a sense of compassion.

Autistic adults and children connect with the world in a different way than others, and they deserve respect for those differences. Provide them with examples that explain why oversharing can be overwhelming for their peers.

Help them recognize their potential communication anxiety, so they can address it. Together, autistic individuals and their neurotypical peers can build stronger personal relationships and grow together as friends.

FAQs

Q: Can people with autism overshare?

A: While not every autistic person is prone to oversharing, it is common. Some autistic adults may overshare due to social communication challenges, special interests, taking aspects of conversation too seriously, and a lack of a filter.

Q: What is info-dumping in autism?

A: Info-dumping is the act of sharing an excessive amount of detailed information about a topic. This type of oversharing, especially about a subject in which the person is passionate, can lead to a one-sided conversation where the listener has difficulty finding a way to contribute.

Q: Is overanalyzing a symptom of autism?

A: Overanalyzing can be one of many behaviors connected to autism, but it’s not a specific diagnostic criterion. Overthinking and overanalyzing may be common in autistic adults who experience challenges with sensory sensitivities, social interactions, rigid thinking, and imagining worst-case scenarios.

Q: Is oversharing part of ADHD?

A: Oversharing can be connected to ADHD. In ADHD, oversharing is often due to impulsivity, especially when it comes to talking. It’s connected to the respective neurodivergent individual’s struggles with social cues, especially in a group setting.