Don’t Let Anyone Tell You What Your Autistic Kids Can’t Do

Sometimes, people try to tell us what our kids can’t do. But let me tell you—don’t ever let anyone set those limits for them. Recently, I got an unexpected and somewhat exasperated call from my 25-year-old autistic son, Gavin, who has been making huge strides toward independence since he moved out this past summer. If you’re a parent of an autistic individual or navigating independent living for autistic adults, I hope Gavin’s journey encourages you to believe in what’s possible.

My Son’s Journey Toward Independence as an Autistic Adult

Gavin has been holding down his first job for over a year and a half, but recently, he ran into a hurdle. His hours were cut—not because of anything he did, just a business decision at the store. As his dad, when I answered the call and heard the exasperation in his voice, I panicked. He said “Dad, you’re the fourth person I’ve called today. I just want you to know what’s going on.” He was clearly exhausted, but he’d been actively working to solve an issue.

He wanted to find a new, full-time job. So, he called his Social Security Administration (SSA) representative. Then connected with his job coach to ensure she was updating his resume. After that he reached out to Opportunities for Ohioans with Disabilities (OOD) to confirm he was still eligible for their support. Next, he was going to contact the new place he hoped to work and find out if they had full-time hours. For a young man who was never “supposed” to be able to do any of this, watching him handle each step on his own was a powerful reminder of the strength autistic individuals have, especially with the right support and encouragement.

Taking Control and Self-Advocating as an Autistic Adult

What Gavin showed me is that independence for autistic adults is possible. His ability to self-advocate and take control of his job search—something we may take for granted—was a huge accomplishment. It’s a reminder for all of us to support our kids, celebrate their strengths, and know that they’re capable of so much more than the world might assume.

So let this be a reminder: Don’t let anyone tell you what your autistic kids can’t do. Whether it’s securing employment support for autism, advocating for themselves, or just managing day-to-day challenges, your kids are amazing. And so are you. Keep going, keep pushing forward, and never give up on them—or on yourself. We’re all in this together.

Follow me on Instagram for inspirational videos every single day. Find me here: @theautismdad

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