Mastering Independent Living for Autistic Adults

An autistic adult shares her top tips for independent living to help younger generations of neurodivergent thinkers.

As a person with so-called “higher-functioning” autism, I have been living on my own for ten years. That length of time is a long time to be on my own. I know some others on the spectrum are not able to live on their own.

I never thought I could manage ten years of independent living successfully. My first attempt at living on my own lasted almost three years. I am surprised and happy, because I am very stable in my independent life. I am sharing tips on independent living with the hope that it may help someone embarking on this same journey.

Tip 1: Find the right housing situation (apartment, condo, or house) that is comfortable and affordable for a person on the spectrum. I found an apartment that is right for me because of my low income. I feel very safe, stable, and happy with the neighbors around me.

Tip 2: Once you have found a comfortable living space, you must take care of your surroundings. If you live in a house, mow the lawn, rake the leaves, shovel the snow, cut down dead tree limbs, and take care of your yard.

If you buy the house, be prepared to paint the outside or inside, repair the roof, and plant trees or grass. On the inside, keep your house comfortable. Take care of your appliances so they can last a long time.

For an apartment, keep your patio or balcony clean. I keep my apartment as clean on the inside as I can. This makes me happy because I am taking care of my surroundings.

Tip 3: Pay rent or mortgage and property taxes. Pay other bills like gas, electric, water, trash, or homeowner fees. It is important to pay your bills on time. I pay my bills on time so that I can continue to live in my apartment.

Some individuals on the spectrum need help paying bills; finding an organization in the community to assist may be helpful in this regard. A long time ago, I needed help paying electric bills; finding help initially may set autistic individuals up for future, independent success.

Tip 4: To purchase a car, you will need to have cash saved or get a loan. Maintenance checks are important for taking care of your car. Every six months, I get my car checked, oil changed, and tires rotated if needed. Cleaning the car on the inside should be prioritized.

After the winter storms, wash your car on the outside to protect it from salt and grime. Washing your car will help protect it from rust. Having a car is convenient because you can go anywhere you want at any time. Take care of your car so you can have it for a long time.

Save money every month so you will be able to get your next car. It is necessary to have a valid driver’s license and the relevant paperwork for your car. Keep your car in working order. If you need help with your car or paperwork, find an organization that can help you.

Tip 5: I suggest not getting credit cards when you are living on your own. Credit cards can get you into trouble and into debt. A few years ago, I got in trouble with credit cards and needed help from my family to fix it. I haven’t used credit cards since then.

If you do have a credit card, I suggest only one card. Make sure you don’t charge anything you can’t pay off at the end of the month. If you are unable to pay the balance at the end of the month, consider not using credit cards for a while. Pay all debt before using it again. Credit cards are dangerous because you spend money you don’t have. That is why I don’t have any.

Tip 6: For groceries, set a certain amount you want to spend so you don’t go over. Make a list because this will help you to stick to your budget.

Use coupons because they can be very helpful in saving money when you go shopping. If you have trouble getting food, go to a local food bank, and they can help you out.

Tip 7: For eating out, just like groceries, budget certain amounts so you don’t go over. If a person on the spectrum feels like they have a little leeway with money during the month, don’t go out to eat. Save that money.

Tip 8: Individuals on the spectrum who have a therapy, service animal, or any other kind of pet prioritize taking great care of it. Feed, water, and take the dogs for walks. Small pets that sleep in a cage should be taken out so that the cage can be cleaned regularly. Having an animal is a big responsibility. These animals depend on you as much as you depend on them.

Tip 9: If you have a child or children, do what you can to take care of them and get help for what you struggle with. Children change your life, especially if your child is born with a disability or a mental illness. Children are a big responsibility that lasts a lifetime. If you need help, find a nanny, a family member, a friend, or an organization that can help.

Tip 10: Keep in contact with your family by phone, email, Zoom, letters, or postcards. They are always there for you. They can help you if you run into a problem like my credit card debt.

Tip 11: Stay in contact with your friends who can become like family. They can come to your house and hang out. You can go out to dinners, football games, outdoor activities, and other events with your friends. Make sure you find friends who will help you as you help them. Find friends with whom you get along. Some friends will be like you, and some friends will be different.

Tip 12: Find a doctor, therapist, or psychiatrist. Make those necessary doctor’s visits when you are sick or don’t feel like your normal self. Take your medicine in the exact way your doctor prescribed. Do what you need to do for yourself. Go to the ER when you need to go, such as when you have a high fever or any other worrying symptoms.

Tip 13: If you need help with any aspect of daily living, reach out to organizations in your local community.

Tip 14: Find a job that is stable and suits your skills and the employer’s needs.

Tip 15: The last tip is to save money each month for a rainy day. When something unexpected happens, you will need to tap into your rainy day fund. For example: a car or appliance breaking down, an urgent trip to see a sick family member or friend, or a sick pet. Establish an emergency fund of six months’ income in case you lose your job.

These are my tips for independent living. I hope these tips help those who are going to be living on their own for the first time—or for another go around.