Understanding Selective Mutism and Autism

A special education expert offers 10 tips for parenting autistic children who also have selective mutism.

Some children with autism can also present with selective mutism. This term may cause confusion for some parents. If your child with autism has selective mutism, there are some tips you can use to assist them in attempting to communicate effectively. Here are 10 tips for assisting your child with autism and their selective mutism.

1. Educate yourself

Some children with autism may be nonverbal—or nonspeaking for those who prefer this term. This, however, does not mean “selective mutism.”

Children with autism who have selective mutism can speak. They may just not speak in certain situations or with certain individuals. Despite this inability to speak in such situations, you, as the parent, may recognize that in comfortable situations, your child may communicate freely.

2. Get a proper medical diagnosis

It will be important for you to obtain a proper medical diagnosis for your child. Many children with select mutism have difficulty dealing with anxiety or stress related to particular situations or environments. Such anxiety and stress can enhance their select mutism. Your child may need to see a pediatrician, a speech-language therapist, and possibly a child psychiatrist, as well as a psychologist.

3. Triggers

Recognizing the “triggers ” that cause stress or anxiety for your child is an important step in dealing with their selective mutism. Your child’s trigger may involve a certain individual. It could be going out in the community to a certain store. It could be school, the other students at school, or the classroom teacher.

Once you recognize these “triggers,” it will also be important for you to recognize the situations that are comfortable for your child. These would be situations, environments, or people in which your child demonstrates their ability to freely communicate.

Your child needs to receive consistent and immediate praise when attempting to communicate. You may be aware of a situation or environment that is particularly stressful for your child. In such circumstances, even if they respond with a single word, handshake, or head nod, you need to immediately reinforce the attempt with praise.

Tell them how proud you are of them. Let them know that you saw their attempt to communicate, and you know that it may have been uncomfortable for them. Assure them that you are always going to support them when they attempt to use their voice.

It is important that the praise is “immediate.” Don’t wait until you get home to deliver the praise. Some children on the spectrum will not “generalize” the praise received later to the earlier event. Giving the praise “immediately” will assist your child in connecting your praise with the actual situation.

5. Friendship and peers

Many children with autism struggle with developing relationships with age-appropriate peers. The best way for your child to develop their speech and language skills is to surround them with peers or friends who demonstrate such speech and language skills.

These peers can be excellent role models for your child. Even if your child with autism is engaging in selective mutism, such peers may provide your child with viable reasons to engage in conversations.

6. Celebrating errors

Children with autism engaging in selective mutism may begin to use their speech and language skills cautiously. They may be looking directly at you to determine what your reaction will be. Children may also make “errors” as they begin utilizing their communication skills.

Remind your child that making “mistakes” is something that everyone does. Encourage and praise them for their communication attempt. It is not necessary to feel that you have to correct every communication attempt of your child. Simply encourage them and praise them for their attempts.

As your child with autism and selective mutism begins to use their communication skills, there may be a “gap” that occurs before their verbal response. Some children need “extra time” to formulate their response.

If you, as a parent, respond for them, it may cause further delays in their verbal responses. Giving them a little bit of extra time and patience to respond may reduce their stress and be the “key” to their communication success.

8. Learned helplessness

Some people in the community will assume that your child with selective mutism does not speak at all. So instead of speaking directly to them, they may direct their responses to you as the parent. This may occur right in front of your child.

As a parent, you need to direct these well-meaning adults to communicate directly with your child. This will lead your child to understand that people want to communicate with them.

Even though the “expectation” may be that your child should communicate back, it doesn’t matter if initially they don’t. It is still an opportunity for your child to practice communicating.

You don’t want your child to begin engaging in “learned helplessness.” They should not assume that you are going to speak for them.

9. Offer choices

Encourage your child with autism to use mutism to communicate. Provide opportunities for your child to communicate. Try to avoid asking them simple “yes/no” types of questions. Offer them choices that encourage them to verbally respond or feel more comfortable.

10. Educate the teacher

Your child with autism and select mutism may spend a significant amount of time with their classroom teacher. Their teacher may not have encountered a student with selective mutism before. They may struggle to understand why your child does not communicate at certain times throughout the school day.

They may take your child’s lack of communication as a form of defiance. Educating your child’s teacher may assist with this perception. Encourage your child’s teacher to actively involve your child in small group activities with their peers.

The teacher could seek out “play-related” activities that may encourage your child to feel more comfortable with using their speech and language skills. Remind the teacher to provide immediate reinforcement when your child attempts to communicate.

The other students in your child’s classroom may struggle with understanding why your child is not communicating. They may assume your child is not interested in being their friend or interacting with them. Providing them with books to read can assist their understanding.

Such books include: