Question: Hi. I need an expert opinion on how eye contact can be improved in teenagers on the spectrum. My son is 14 and has had poor eye contact since childhood. Now, as a teenager, he is finding it very difficult to socialize and make friends, which may be due, in part, to poor eye contact. Any help will be highly appreciated.
Thanking you,
Prodipta
Answer: Hello Prodipta,
Individuals with autism spectrum disorder (ASD) often find eye contact difficult. First, you have to understand that lack of eye contact is not an indicator of paying attention or listening. Avoiding eye contact can be beneficial in some cases because it allows the individual with ASD to engage without increasing their anxiety related to social interactions.
Eye contact is not a necessary action for a conversation, and teaching your child to mask is not always the best outcome. I would encourage you to teach your child to learn how to self-advocate. They can let people know that eye contact is difficult for them, but it’s not an indication of interest. Encourage your child to show others how to positively engage with them; this is a lifelong skill that neurodivergent individuals need to learn.
With the above being said, here are some tips you can give your child to help them adapt to neurotypical norms:
- Looking at someone’s nose is close enough to their eyes, but it may provide some relief. Any other facial feature may work, but I have found the nose to be the best fit
- Talk to your child about why eye contact is important, and how others might perceive a lack of it as rude or not showing interest
- Slowly teach them how to make eye contact with close family members, this may ease the discomfort when it is required with others
I hope this helps,
Bea.
