Building Confidence in Autistic Children

A special educator shares an example of the power of a mindset change.

“I can’t do it!” Those words hit me like a ton of bricks that afternoon when Rahul was fumbling with a pair of scissors. Those little hands got tired easily.

We had put together craft papers, colored pencils, ribbons, cut-outs, tissue papers, stickers, and paints to create fluffy and fun home decor. Rahul loved dirtying his hands and crafting things.

It’s true, words have power! They can empower you to chase your dreams. They can crystallize your beliefs, or they can trap you in a spiral of negativity. Yes, the right words can make all the difference!

So, think of the power you wield and the change you can create in a child’s life if you become more mindful of the words you speak.

Rahul’s story

Rahul was diagnosed with autism when he was five. His self-esteem derailed when he started seeing himself through the eyes of others.

Belittling comments like “What a stupid thing to do!” and “It’s too tough for you” left him with feelings of shame, apprehension, and guilt. Rahul’s belief system was his limit, not his challenges.

Rahul’s hope

In the following days, I visualized him as a joyful, determined, and brave fellow who was ready to play his part as an active teammate in the Annual Day at school. I made him and his dear ones believe and swallow the same story—parents, friends, classmates, and other facilitators.
You see, we are the stories we hear and tell ourselves, which gradually take the shape of habits and eventually our beliefs.

Meanwhile, working on his scissor and crafting skills became one of the favorite goals for our occupational therapist at school. Every weekend, Rahul was assigned some fun projects at home, which helped him to increase his fine-motor strength.

Rahul’s triumph

On Mondays, Rahul’s class teacher made it a point to praise and acknowledge his assignments in front of his peers. This made a world of difference!

Rahul steadily started feeling more secure and enjoyed his small wins. One could often hear him say, “Look at my paper cuttings. Aren’t they mind-blowing?”

What I experienced was that setting reasonable and simple goals for our students can help them to see how much they have grown and instill in them a sense of confidence.

During the IEP meetings, we often reminded Rahul’s parents that Rahul is not defined by his shortcomings and that we all should adopt and practice a mindset of growth. Let’s all move away from saying things like “can’t” to saying something more positive like “WE CAN!”

We did not give up on Rahul, and Rahul did not give up on dirtying his hands! Now, he does not live in constant fear of judgment. He looks so comfortable in his own skin that he projects an aura of freedom whenever he passes by any of us.