Autism Mom Self-Care: How to Reclaim Your Identity

A mother shares the meaning of developing a strong body and mind for herself and for her children.

For the last six months, I’ve been working diligently on my body. It’s amazing what you can accomplish if you focus only on one thing: yourself. It’s something I have been neglecting for almost thirteen years.

Since my son turned 13 this month, I figure it’s time to finally shed the baby weight and reclaim some part of my old self. Time to rediscover a new self, and my body recovery is part of that.

Weight for women is such a touchy thing. I was bigger than my body could take, and I knew this. But truthfully, I had a hard time paying attention to my figure once I became a mom.

I allowed for bad eating habits and emotional eating to take over, and I gave up on myself a bit. It seemed too hard to work on my figure when I was mothering and caring for others. Balance was key, and of course I understood this but couldn’t grasp it.

I was not at all in sync with myself physically or mentally. I fell into habits like late-night eating, eating in bed, and the most destructive, eating when angry or depressed.

I felt my children needed me more than I needed myself

In the midst of all that eating came an autism diagnosis and a dyslexia diagnosis, and caring for myself seemed unfair when my children needed so much help. I could not do it then.

I could not focus on me when all they needed was me. I sacrificed myself, but it was worth every pound, every wrinkle, and every scar I’ve endured mentally and emotionally from advocating for them.

They were and are worth it. My children are my legacy and greatest rewards.

Now, it is time to focus on me

Now they are older and more capable, and it would be foolish not to focus on myself. My health has suffered enough. I’ve given up enough of myself physically and emotionally, and now we enter the stage when we need to find balance once again.

However, this time it’s about letting go of the parenting remote control, and diving into my own self-care and development. There’s still a little bit left of me I would like to develop. There’s more I want to become before I retreat into another phase of life with my husband.

My body is just one part of this. Creating a strong body is something I’m just beginning to discover– but I’ve started. I’ve lost ten pounds and have seen a dent in what I want for myself.

I recognize my face again, not the bloated, scared woman I saw looking back at me in the mirror for the last 13 years. My little bit of confidence is returning, yet I remind myself to remain humble and not to get too excited because I have a long way to go both physically and mentally.

Today I am celebrating my beginning. It’s something I have craved for many years, yet something always halted my work. This time, I hope I can achieve my physical goals and grow stronger mentally as well. The connection between the two is obvious to me now that I’m feeling the rewards.

The stronger I become physically, the better I feel mentally. My mental health hasn’t always been consistent because I’ve had so much to accomplish these past 13 years. But I’m determined to find the tranquility that waits for me as I physically become the woman I want to be for myself and for my truly beautiful family.