Autism and International Travel: The Charm of Big Ben – Finding Cooper’s Voice

If you had been in Central London anywhere from Trafalgar Square to the Houses of Parliament two years ago, you might have seen a family hurrying after a little boy in noise reduction headsets, weaving through the crowds on Whitehall. A determined little boy, followed by his own personal entourage.

That was us. And if you had told me years earlier that we would be there, I would have said it was impossible.

For many families with a child with autism, it might be and I completely understand that.

If maps, landmarks, and travel were not a special interest for my son, I am not sure I could have gotten him across the Atlantic to my brother’s wedding in Northern Ireland. The key to going was his favorite landmark. The one you see in Peter Pan and Mary Poppins. The one that started it all, Elizabeth Tower, also known as Big Ben.

Before we reached that clock tower, you would have seen a little boy with the most serious look on his face. Through the ten hour flight, the bus rides, the sleepless jet lagged night in my brother’s flat, and even through the other sights that morning.

I even thought the Landseer Lions might excite him, his favorite animal on a landmark of their own, but he did not stop. He had to see Big Ben. So the moment it came into view, there was no turning back. We took a quick lion photo, and then we were off.

The relief we all felt as he stood there, so close to that gold trimmed clock tower, was almost overwhelming. I could have cried. A dream come true for him, and for us too.

That moment changed the trip.

It was not an easy journey by any measure we had many ups and downs, but once Big Ben was checked off his list, he could breathe. We all could. From there he was ready to see more, the Peter Pan statue, a boat ride on the Thames, Tower Bridge.

People often ask how we travel so much with autism. The truth is, it began almost by accident. When he was little, I was a restless mom with family scattered across the country and across the ocean. Travel simply became part of our lives. Over time, he practiced, we practiced, and slowly we built a rhythm.

I never want to make it sound easy. Every trip comes with its own nerves, and I am always anxious before a flight. My husband likes to tease that he should put me on a separate plane. But we have learned that preparation and knowing his interests make all the difference. If we are going somewhere new, I always try to find something that will light him up, something that will anchor him like the way Big Ben did.

We have been lucky.

There have been delayed flights, and one nearly canceled trip thanks to a hurricane, but most changes have happened while we were still at home or able to distract him at the airport. There was the time we broke down on the side of the road in Ireland, and by some miracle, J found the whole thing a little funny (my husband did not).

There have been harder moments too, like meltdowns in the middle of Universal Studios, a show at Disney World, and very close calls on airplanes were I did anything to avoid. But those moments do not erase that accomplishment. Sometimes the things he loves are overwhelming, but we work through it together.

Because trying is the only way to give him the chance to see the things that matter to him. And in the process, we get to see the world through his eyes, one landmark at a time.