Autism At 15: Every Little Thing Is Everything - Finding Cooper's Voice

Lately, my autistic daughter, Kya, has had a growth of independence, and if I’m being honest, I wasn’t ready for it. Not even close. But it’s something remarkable to witness. It catches me off guard in the most ordinary moments, the ones that don’t seem like much to anyone else, but to me, they’re everything.

She closes the bathroom door now. It doesn’t seem like a big deal, almost forgettable, but it’s not. It’s huge. It’s privacy. It’s autonomy. She closes her bedroom door and puts herself to bed. At fifteen, that may seem like a typical teenage thing, but for us? It’s a milestone.

And then there’s water in the middle of the night. I used have to get up at her call for it. She has a mini fridge in her room now, and without asking, she gets up and grabs her own. It’s a flicker of independence that feels like a lighthouse beam after so many years.

In typical teenage fashion, trying to get her to take a picture these days? I’ve got a better chance of catching fairies flying overhead. So tonight, after seeing Elio for the third time, I said, “Wanna take a picture?” A flat-out no, of course. Until she noticed the cardboard cutout near the exit, and then she said yes.

There’s this enormous pressure I carry every single day to prepare her for a world that doesn’t always feel prepared for her. To push her gently forward while shielding her as best I can. And that weight? It can be crushing. Because the world isn’t quite ready yet.

We are finding our way, this girl and I. It’s not always easy. But truth be told, I think I learn more from her than she ever does from me.

Keep leading the way, kid.

On we go.