Being Seen Just As We Are – Finding Cooper’s Voice

I had just put the car in park and turned off the engine. I grabbed my phone to check a message quick. I paused as I heard a siren driving by.

My son Cooper, who is 14 years old, calmly touched my arm. When I looked up he smiled and pointed to the fire truck and then tapped his chest.

He wants to ride in a fire truck. This I know.

Together we got out and made our way to the entrance of the grocery store.

Parking lots. They used to be unimaginable for my son.

Because, autism. His autism.

The second the vehicle was turned off, or even a second before, he would open the door, dive out, and run. Any direction. No rhyme or reason.

Terrifying is an understatement.

Dangerous. Unsafe. Not feasible.

But we worked for so many years to be able to be in parking lots. We practiced every single part.

Parking. Opening the door. Walking. Looking around. Awareness. Recognizing danger. Being safe. Listening. Stopping.

It took so long. But we never gave up.

And now, well, we make an occasional stop at the grocery store.

And each time I am humbled at his growth. I never take one second or skill for granted.

As we walked in, hand in hand, he saw a man getting in his own car.

An older gentlemen.

Full beard.

He appeared rushed. In his own world. As we so often are. And I knew what was going to happen next.

Cooper stopped directly in front of his car as the man buckled his seatbelt.

And he waved. A joyous wave that lasted a long 5 seconds.

A huge smile. A giggle. Even a bounce.

I stared back with a kind smile and willed this man to wave back with all my might.

He did not.

He averted eye contact.

As most would do. And I’m sure he wondered why this teenager sized boy was waving like that.

Cooper waited.
I waited.

The man waited.

Eventually, we started walking again.

I reached for my son’s arm and whispered ‘good waving bud! Great job saying hi
.’

And his hands danced with joy. He was so proud of himself.

He pointed to an airplane.

And the pumpkins at the entrance.

And he gasped at an M&M’s wrapper on the ground.

‘I see you little dude. Hi there! I see you too mom. What a cool kid you have there!’

The man. He must have realized. And rolled down his window. And leaned out to get our attention.

‘I see you little dude.’

Cooper, now very busy counting pumpkins turned andgave him a quick wave and then moseyed into the store.

I was frozen for a second though.

I felt the goosebumps and tears simultaneously. And I mouthed ‘thank you.’ I have never been more thankful.

Being seen just as we are. It is such a powerful thing.