Help! My Autistic Child Can’t Go to School

Emotionally based school absences can be tough on both children and their families. Some kids simply can’t cope with school right now, and even with alternative options, they may still struggle to attend.

Parents can help their child get the right support, like one-to-one tutoring or a teaching assistant, through school or the local authority. This support can keep their learning on track and give families a bit of breathing room.

The aim is always to help the child take small steps toward returning to a setting that works for them. Here are five simple steps to help you get funded support, even without an EHCP.

1. Create a log of events

Keep track of all relevant events from when your child first struggled to attend school. This is helpful because different people at the local authority may be dealing with your case. Having a record of events means everyone can be fully briefed. 

The log should include the date, time, and an account of what happened when you tried to get your child into school. Also, list why it was important and who was involved. 

It is also helpful to order this chronologically, supplying any evidence you may have, such as emails you received from the school.

Compile a list of key contacts involved during your child’s time at school and the reallocation of the placement process so far.

This may include teachers, a special education needs coordinator (SENCO), the headteacher, case workers, social workers, and local authority staff members. 

Then, there is a record of all your contacts, with everyone updated moving forward. Creating “Send to all” emails can make life easier for parents and guardians by saving time, and it ensures your case is a top priority. 

3. Focus on one “ask” at a time

Now, you can start progressing your case with the local authority. The key is to present one request at a time.

The situation may be highly emotive, and you may require many things for your child. The most effective method is to ask for each step in turn. 

The person you are dealing with may change, and they may not be an expert in these cases. Therefore, emails to the council should be kept short and accessible. 

Clearly outline your request and set a reasonable deadline for when you expect to receive confirmation. 

Attaching your log to every email can be helpful, ensuring the body of the email is kept brief. That way, anyone picking up on the thread for the first time can easily access the history.

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4. Follow up and keep everyone updated

If you have not heard back after the deadline for the initial email, send a polite but short follow-up email asking for an update. Your council has a legal requirement to keep you updated on your case.

You should provide a weekly update to your email list highlighting the challenges your child is facing. Focus on academic, social, and emotional needs.

Your child’s previous school will still have a duty of care, so any changes in your child’s well-being should be supported and addressed.

These regular emails also ensure you remain on their radar and that your requests are at the top of their list. 

5. Know what packages of support are available 

For the successful allocation of a new placement, the local authority will need to disclose if your child is positively engaging with education.

The more clearly this can be demonstrated, the more likely a reallocation placement will be accepted. However, if your child has been out of education for several months, this can be a difficult question to answer. 

This is where the funded support comes in. Depending on your local authority, the exact support you can access may look different. Find out what these options are. 

Asking about their emergency packages can be a useful starting point. These could range from 6 to 10 hours of one-to-one tutoring a week to 15 to 23 hours of teaching assistant support. 

Then, it’s a case of making sure you ask for the best option for your child in a simple, clear request. This will help the council to confirm your child is positively engaged with their education.

It will also support them through this limbo period between placements, reigniting their love for learning.

Support is out there

Emotionally based school absences can feel overwhelming, but you’re not alone, and help is available. By keeping clear records, knowing who to contact, and making well-timed, focused requests, you can start unlocking the support your autistic child needs.

Even without an EHCP, many families secure funded one-to-one tutoring or teaching assistant hours. These small steps can make a big difference in helping your child stay connected to learning and feel safe again.

With patience and persistence, it’s possible to create a path that works for your child, one where they’re supported, understood, and able to thrive.

This article was featured in Issue 167 — Autism and Finances: Planning for Your Future

FAQs

Q: How do people with autism struggle in school?

A: People with autism may struggle in school due to sensory sensitivities, difficulty with social interactions, and challenges with communication or transitions. These issues can lead to anxiety, emotional distress, and difficulties with academic performance or classroom behavior.

Q: Can kids with severe autism go to school?

A: Yes, kids with severe autism can go to school, often with individualized education plans (IEPs), support staff, and accommodations tailored to their needs. Specialized programs and autism-friendly classrooms help ensure they receive an appropriate education in a supportive environment.

Q: What is the hardest age with an autistic child?

A: Many parents find early childhood and puberty to be particularly challenging due to intense behavioral changes, communication struggles, and sensory issues. However, the most difficult age can vary depending on the child’s specific needs and the support available.