Developing social skills is a crucial aspect of every child’s growth, and learning how to help an autistic child with social skills is important for many families. While the way autistic children engage with others may differ, the underlying need for peer interactions and effective communication, along with basic social skills, remains the same.
Supporting your child in building social skills can help them make friends, understand social cues, and feel a stronger sense of belonging and self-esteem. These skills all contribute to their overall well-being and happiness.
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4 Practical Interventions to Help Develop Social Skills
Real-life example: Learning to read social cues
I’ve had the privilege of working with many individuals on the autism spectrum, and it’s been an incredibly rewarding experience to witness their growth.
I remember working with a young boy who received services in our clinic. He often struggled to understand why his peers reacted the way they did in certain social situations, leading to him feeling quite isolated.
We spent a lot of time focusing on reading and interpreting body language. We’d use flashcards with different facial expressions and body postures, and we’d act out various scenarios.
We even watched short, muted video clips and discussed what the characters might be feeling based on their nonverbal cues. Slowly, he started to connect the dots.
He began to notice subtle shifts in people’s posture or the slight narrowing of their eyes, which helped him anticipate their reactions.
The change was profound! As he became more adept at understanding these social cues, he felt less confused and more in control during interactions.
This not only improved his social communication but also visibly reduced his feelings of isolation. He started participating more in group activities, and his peers began to engage with him more, too.
Seeing that shift from confusion and isolation to greater understanding and acceptance is truly why this work is so important to me.
Progress can look different for each child. For some, it might be making eye contact more consistently, while for others, it could be initiating a conversation or understanding a complex emotion through different expressions.
Why social skills can be challenging for autistic children
Many autistic people tend to think in very literal terms. This means phrases we use every day, such as sarcasm or subtle hints, might be understood differently, leading to confusion.
Imagine telling someone, “It’s raining cats and dogs”—they might picture animals falling from the sky, which could be upsetting.
Also, sensory issues can profoundly affect how they communicate. If a room is too loud, too bright, or even feels uncomfortable, it can overwhelm their senses, making it hard to focus on a conversation.
Anxiety also plays a big role in how autistic children interact. Social interactions, which often involve quick back-and-forth exchanges and unpredictable elements, can be stressful for them.
This anxiety may cause them to avoid eye contact, struggle to start or maintain a conversation, or prefer to communicate in other ways, like writing or using pictures.
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Their literal way of thinking can also make social norms tricky – things like taking turns talking in a school setting, understanding what’s implied rather than directly said, or knowing when a conversation is over.
As parents, recognizing these social deficits can help you find better ways to connect and create a supportive space where your child feels understood and comfortable expressing themselves in their unique way.
Teaching social skills to an autistic child can provide lifelong benefits. When you actively seek ways to connect with an autistic child, you can significantly enhance the effectiveness of therapeutic interventions.
Start small and model behavior
Supporting the development of social skills in children with autism can feel like a significant undertaking for many parents. Remember that even the biggest journeys begin with small steps.
It’s incredibly effective to start by modeling appropriate behaviors in your everyday interactions.
Simple actions, such as taking turns playing board games, offering a friendly “hello” or “goodbye,” and maintaining eye contact, can subtly help your child understand these essential social cues.
Think of yourselves as guides, demonstrating the very behaviors you wish for them to learn, and celebrate every small milestone.
Be consistent and patient as your child observes and gradually internalizes these positive interactions.
Be available to answer questions your child may have as they learn to navigate through new skills and try to make friends. Those receiving services with an ABA therapist might role-play with another adult or peer.
Beyond modeling, incorporating social skill learning into play, creating predictable routines, and using storytelling can be powerful tools.
Playtime offers a natural, low-pressure environment for practicing group activities, turn-taking, sharing, interacting with school staff, and understanding different perspectives.
Establishing consistent routines for greetings, mealtimes, or even bedtime can help your child anticipate and practice social interactions predictably.
Furthermore, storytelling allows children to explore and understand various social situations and appropriate responses safely and engagingly.
By utilizing these strategies in daily life, you are teaching valuable skills and providing extra support and understanding in a safe environment.
Use visual supports
Visual aids are incredibly powerful tools for preparing children with autism for social interactions.
Many children with autism process information best when it’s presented in a concrete, visual format instead of just spoken words.
Visual aids, like picture schedules, “first-then” boards, or emotion charts, provide a clear and consistent way to convey expectations and information.
They can help reduce anxiety by making abstract social situations more predictable and understandable.
For example, a visual schedule before a playdate can show the sequence of activities, like “greeting,” “playing with blocks,” “snack time,” and “saying goodbye.”
This may help your child anticipate what will happen and how they will spend time, so that they will feel more secure in the interaction when given ample opportunity.
Occupational therapy and ABA therapy are both valuable resources for learning how to create and utilize visual supports and social stories.
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The Benefits of Visual Supports for Autism
Incorporate social stories
Social stories are an effective way to help individuals with autism learn social skills.
They clearly and simply explain social situations, telling you what to expect, why people act in certain ways, and how to respond appropriately.
For instance, imagine a story called “When I Need Help with My Work.” It would start by saying it’s okay to get stuck on schoolwork.
Then, it would walk through the steps: looking at your teacher, quietly raising your hand, waiting patiently, and then using your words like, “I need help, please.”
The story would also explain that your teacher will listen and help you understand and that asking for help is a good thing that makes learning easier and helps you feel proud.
Social stories take this visual approach a step further by weaving these visuals into short, personalized narratives that describe specific social situations and appropriate responses.
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Social Stories for Autistic Children
These stories break down complex social cues and expectations into manageable steps, explaining the “who, what, where, when, why, and how” of a given scenario.
For example, a social story about attending a birthday party might describe what happens at a party, how to greet the host, how to give a gift, and what to do if one feels overwhelmed.
The beauty is that, as parents, you can create custom social stories tailored to your child’s unique needs and upcoming events.
By using your child’s name, familiar settings, and relatable characters, you can make these stories highly engaging and effective in helping them understand and practice new social skills, ultimately fostering greater confidence and success in social situations.
Use special interests to encourage interaction
Children with an autism diagnosis often have special interests – topics or activities they’re intensely passionate about. These interests can be incredible pathways to social learning.
When you incorporate your child’s favorite things into social interactions, you’re tapping into their natural motivation and enthusiasm.
Imagine trying to teach turn-taking with a board game your child finds uninteresting versus one that revolves around their beloved trains or dinosaurs. The difference in engagement and willingness to participate can be dramatic.
By making social learning relevant and enjoyable through their special or similar interests, you make the whole process less daunting and more inviting, naturally increasing their desire to interact and connect.
Leveraging special interests can also create a shared common ground that makes social connections feel more comfortable and natural.
For example, use a favorite cartoon character in social stories or role-play scenarios, or find groups where other children share that same interest.
This provides a built-in conversation starter and a common activity that eases the pressure of initiating and maintaining social interactions.
When children discuss something they genuinely love and know a lot about, they often exhibit more fluent communication, better eye contact, and a greater willingness to engage.
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Small steps, big impact: Supporting your child’s social journey
Remember, the journey of supporting your child’s social skill development isn’t about achieving perfection but about offering consistent, loving support.
Every child is unique, so what works wonders for one might need a tweak for another. Pay close attention to what truly resonates with your child – their responses will be your best guide.
Please know that you don’t have to navigate this path alone; reaching out to professionals like therapists, educators, or support groups can provide invaluable insights, strategies, and reassurance tailored to your family’s needs.
Your dedication plays a significant role, and every effort, big or small, helps your child build skills and confidence while connecting with the world around them.
Developing interpersonal and social skills is crucial because they are fundamental to navigating almost every aspect of life.
Strong social abilities allow us to communicate our thoughts and needs effectively, build meaningful relationships, and collaborate successfully with others in both personal and professional settings.
They enable us to understand different perspectives, resolve conflicts constructively, and adapt to diverse social environments.
Ultimately, well-developed interpersonal skills foster a sense of connection, enhance overall well-being, and significantly contribute to personal growth and success.
FAQs
Q: How can I help my autistic child with social interaction?
A: To support an autistic child with social interaction, start with early intervention and structured learning. Use tools like social stories, emotion charts, and role-playing to teach social skills in manageable steps. Encourage communication, offer positive reinforcement, and organize interest-based playdates. Therapy can also help build social confidence in a supportive setting.
Q: Can you teach an autistic child social skills?
A: Autistic children can learn social skills with the right support. Structured strategies like social stories, role-playing, and positive reinforcement tailored to their needs can help them connect with others in more authentic and comfortable ways.
Q: What causes poor social skills in autism?
A: Neurobiological differences affect how autistic individuals process social cues, like eye contact and conversation flow. Sensory sensitivities can also make social settings overwhelming, making it harder to engage with others.
Q: Can an autistic child be very social?
A: Some autistic children are very social. While social traits vary, many enjoy connecting with others, especially through shared interests. Their way of interacting may differ, but they can form strong, meaningful relationships.
References
Moody, C. T., & Laugeson, E. A. (2020). Social skills training in autism spectrum disorder across the lifespan. Psychiatric Clinics, 43(4), 687-699. https://www.psych.theclinics.com/article/S0193-953X(20)30053-8/abstract
Soares, E. E., Bausback, K., Beard, C. L., Higinbotham, M., Bunge, E. L., & Gengoux, G. W. (2021). Social skills training for autism spectrum disorder: A meta-analysis of in-person and technological interventions. Journal of technology in behavioral science, 6(1), 166-180. https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s41347-020-00177-0
Radley, K. C., Dart, E. H., Brennan, K. J., Helbig, K. A., Lehman, E. L., Silberman, M., & Mendanhall, K. (2020). Social skills teaching for individuals with autism spectrum disorder: A systematic review. Advances in Neurodevelopmental Disorders, 4, 215-226. https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s41252-020-00170-x
Øzerk, K., Özerk, G., & Silveira-Zaldivar, T. (2021). Developing social skills and social competence in children with autism. International Electronic Journal of Elementary Education, 13(3), 341-363. https://www.duo.uio.no/bitstream/handle/10852/88813/2/SOCIAL%2BSKILLS%2BAND%2BCHILDREN%2BWITH%2BASD.pdf
Sansi, A., Nalbant, S., & Ozer, D. (2021). Effects of an inclusive physical activity program on the motor skills, social skills and attitudes of students with and without autism spectrum disorder. Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, 51(7), 2254-2270. https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10803-020-04693-z
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