Stop Shaming Autism Parents For Things They Can’t Control ~ The Autism Cafe

I need to get this off my chest, because lately, the comments I’ve been getting from fellow autism parents have been… something else.

Things like:

“My kid would get a whooping.”
“I have locks everywhere.”

As if I don’t? As if I haven’t tried every lock known to humankind—magnetic, coded, double deadbolt, childproof, adult-proof.

Guess what? He still finds a way.

Life in a Split Second

He waits until I blink or walk away for two seconds and boom:

• Drinkable yogurt all over the couch, curtains, and carpet.
• Get distracted while baking? Flour. Everywhere.
• Leave your drink on the table? Spilled.
• Blanket? Stuffed in the toilet.
• Toilet paper? Shredded.
• Plants? Dirt sprinkled like confetti.

This is my reality. Every. Single. Day.

This Is Not Bad Parenting

It’s not a lack of discipline. It’s not me being “too soft.”

This is profound autism.
It’s:

• Impulse control issues
• Sensory-seeking behavior
• An intellectual disability
• No real understanding of consequences

You can’t spank that out of a child.
You can’t lock it away forever.

I’m Doing Everything I Can

And yes, I’m exhausted. I’m trying. Hard.

So maybe, just maybe, don’t assume the mess means I’m not doing my job. And if you’re another autism parent, shame on you for shaming me. Just because your child can do something doesn’t mean all kids on the spectrum can.

To the “Perfect” Parents

If you’ve never turned away from your child for a minute, congratulations. You’re amazing. Truly.