Autism Safety Tips & Social Boundaries

Discover safety tips for children on the autism spectrum from a research psychologist’s point of view.

As parents, we want to do everything we can to keep our children safe. For children diagnosed with autism, who may not fully understand danger or social boundaries, it is essential to be extra vigilant. Here are some safety tips to keep in mind:

Be aware of their sensitivities

Many children with autism are sensitive to loud noises, bright lights, or certain textures. Be mindful of this when you’re out in public and try to avoid overwhelming situations. You can work on these with your child’s occupational therapist (OT), but also at home. If you notice your child is sensitive to noises, see if they want to use some noise-canceling headphones. If they are sensitive to bright lights, you can see if they want to wear sunglasses in specific environments.

Help them understand strangers

It’s important to explain that not everyone is safe, even if they seem friendly. I worked with a young autistic child and we included a “stranger danger” lesson.

We contrived possible situations with figurines. I asked her to give me appropriate responses, and then we practiced it where we asked her family to do role-play with us. After this, we went to various environments and practiced this newly acquired skill in real life.

Rehearse what to do if they get lost

Teach them to find a trusted adult and give them specific instructions on what to say and do. In these situations, working on learning specific scripts might work best. It would be a good idea to create a short yet catchy script where you teach your child, “If I am lost, I have to: find, phone, and wait.” This can be taught to your child where you show them how to find an adult, ask them to phone their parents, and wait with the adult for you to arrive. A short script, like “find, phone, and wait,” can even be taught in a little rhyme or jingle to keep it fun and motivating.

Supervise them around water

Children need to learn how to swim from a young age, but it might be even more critical for our children with autism. Many children have the potential to wander off and explore areas and environments that might be unattended. Some swimming schools are equipped with staff members who have experience working with children diagnosed with autism.

Keep an eye on their wandering tendencies

As mentioned earlier, many children with autism tend to wander off, so it is important to keep a close eye on them at all times. It might also give you peace of mind to add a tracker to a bracelet they like to wear or their favorite backpack. It is almost impossible to always keep an eye on anyone, so try to think of more ways and people to support you here. Remember that you also need a break and some “off-time”.

Following these safety tips will help keep your child with autism safe. But it’s also important to teach them about social boundaries. Autistic children may not understand personal space or why specific topics are off-limits, so it is crucial to have open conversations about these things.

Some social boundary tips to keep in mind

Some children with autism may struggle with understanding social boundaries. The more they know, the more empowered they will be when interacting with others.

Teach your child about personal space and appropriate touching

Explain that some people may not want to be hugged or touched, even if they are friends or family. Some children with autism might be entirely sensory sensitive. If your child is highly tactile defensive, it might be a good idea to consult an OT specializing in sensory integration.

You can include a sensory diet for your child where you provide various sensory inputs throughout the day. This way, you are supporting your child’s ability to sustain different sensory inputs and thus helping them with appropriate touch.

Teach them about private parts of the body and why others should not touch them

Although this might be a tricky conversation, especially if your child is still young, you can always include visuals to create an understanding. It might be helpful to teach younger children firm “black and white” rules around these topics. The older your child gets, the more you can work on their abstract understanding and thinking about when and why some people touch others, and why it is or isn’t okay for them to do this.

Explain why it’s not appropriate to ask personal questions of others

Again, when our child is still young, it might be easier for them (and us) to explain this in the form of rules and later work on understanding the abstract concept of when asking these questions might be more appropriate. For example, when you become friends with someone, you are more likely to ask personal questions and share some of this information, too.

Help them understand that some topics are sensitive and shouldn’t be discussed with everyone

It might be a good idea to have open discussions on sensitive topics as a family, and then explain that this is a “safe space” to discuss any topics that might interest them. If we provide our children a place and time where they can state their beliefs and feelings, they will understand that even if not everyone understands them, they have a “circle” of people who will.

Teach them about appropriate physical contact

For example, explain that hitting or kicking others is not okay, even if they are playmates. We need to provide our children with ways in which first to recognize their feelings (self-awareness) and then a way to cope (self-regulation). A way to incorporate this is to have a “zones of regulation” chart. You can associate colors (or something else) with different feelings and ways to either feel calmer again or more in control.

For example, if they are in a “red zone,” which could mean they are angry or frustrated, you can include (with your child’s help) ways to decrease this frustration and some supportive coping skills. You can ask your child to come up with three or four things they could do to help them calm down again, and then try these out when they feel they are in the “red zone.”

Help them understand the difference between “inside” and “outside” voices

By teaching your child about safety and social boundaries, you can help them navigate the world more confidently and avoid potential hazards. When your child is practicing these different tones, you can also include animated voices to keep their attention.

If you pretend to be a specific animal, you can ask them how this animal would sound if they are in danger, and when they are speaking softly to their animal friend. Then try to engage them with possible scenarios from home, school, and other environments. For example, how do we get our teacher’s attention versus how do we get the attention from our mom when we are feeling worried?

Final thoughts

You are doing a fantastic job, just reading this article and always going the extra mile. Your child, like all children, will have some great adventures when learning about social and safety boundaries.

Enjoy your day, give yourself a pat on the back, and take a short break for thinking of possible situations to help better equip your child in these!