Autism Sleep Solutions: – Autism Parenting Magazine

Inspired by her own children, a sleep consultant shares her wisdom concerning autism sleep solutions.

Some of you reading this are just beginning your journey, others are years in, but regardless of where you are, your journey is unique and diverse. Every day is a school day when it comes to research on sleep, anxiety, and autism and how it can all interlink for a child (or adult). So it’s important to keep up to date.

As a mother of two young boys, one of whom is autistic, I know firsthand the most wonderful and challenging journeys we face every day. It’s truly a remarkable roller coaster full of ups and downs, building momentum as the years pass.

My story

My inspiration is my child, and like many of you reading this, you too will find your strength in order to achieve what you want. Like the Yin and Yang of life, my 7-year-old struggled so badly with sleep, whereas my 5-year-old loves his sleep (big sigh of relief).

I remember the nights when I dreaded the ‘witching hours’ between 4 pm and 9 pm (and most of the night to be honest). I remember the screams, the cries and constant holding and rocking just to settle my boy down. Just to give him a glimpse of the comfort and sleep he so badly needed.

At this point we obviously didn’t know he was autistic, but the signs soon became more and more apparent. He was finally diagnosed at 5 years old.

Sleep was his (and our) biggest battle. To say he didn’t seem to “like” sleep was an understatement. He woke up on average 6-8 times a night, took 1-2 hours to settle back down, and then he would wake up every 30 minutes.

Sleep deprivation hit hard! It was only then I realized it was actually possible to fall asleep standing up! Who knew?

Like many parents, I felt I had tried everything. I did exactly what the health visitors told me to do, I even had two sleep specialists come in to try and help.

The methods they suggested were cry it out or controlled crying—two techniques I would never recommend for an autistic and anxious child—I will explain why as we go on. None of these methods helped and instead left me, as a parent, in a world of guilt and frustration for allowing my child to cry for hours each night.

However, this is what was encouraged, so as a new mum, your gut instinct gets shoved to the back of your mind, and you listen to the experts, right? By the end of it all, the sleep experts openly said they don’t know what to do, and there’s nothing else they could recommend.

Seven years on, and the world of sleep-associated research and subsequent sleep methods has evolved greatly. This is where I come in.

I had spent 16 years as a specialist teacher for students with additional needs and then went on to lecture at a FE college to help teach young people understand special educational needs and disabilities (SEND). For me though, this just wasn’t enough.

It was obvious to me that knowledge on autism and sleep was limited, even within the sleep consultancy community. Parents and carers around the world were struggling to get their children to sleep using traditional sleep methods, and were feeling like they had failed because their child didn’t sleep like their peers. When they sought out help, the wrong advice was being given to them. This left them with a sense of failure and disappointment no one should have to feel.

I retrained as a sleep consultant and specialized in infant, child, and autism sleep methods so I could help others understand their child’s sleep journey, their battles, and their victories every step of the way. Over time, I developed gentle sleep methods to support autistic children, and together with my training, my child now sleeps through the night.

This was, in all honesty, something I never thought would happen. The sleep solutions I had created were successful and have been successful with other families I have worked with since.

Let’s talk sleep methods

We need to know the facts before embarking on a sleep journey. The fact is, up to 80% of autistic people struggle to sleep. This is not because of your parenting techniques, it’s not about your beliefs, it’s not even about what’s right and wrong.

The most important goal is to get your child the best sleep possible for them. Sleep is so important for developmental and brain growth, social skills, and academic skills. So we need to remember: lack of sleep is not a healthy option, and improvement in sleep needs to come first in order to improve anything else going on in our lives.

This will vary for each and every child, so try not to engage in what other people say your child should be doing as part of their bedtime routine. This is a very individual journey that has to be right for your child, no one else’s.

Melatonin

Evidence suggests that melatonin levels are often reduced for people with autism. So, you may hear a lot about Melatonin ‘top-ups’ in either pill or liquid form.

It’s important to understand that melatonin is naturally produced in everyone. It starts to build in the later afternoon and into the evening, and helps you to gently and naturally fall asleep at night.

For many autistic children (and adults) not enough melatonin is produced, so you may find your child struggling to settle at night, fidgeting instead of sleeping, and easily distracted—basically it seems like they are fighting sleep and their brain can’t switch off.

This can be so frustrating for both parent and child, and can seem like you’re fighting a losing battle (trust me, I knew it well). If you are considering using melatonin for your child, you will need to speak to a Pediatrician to get approval and a prescription; a GP can not do this for you.

Circadian rhythm

Another thing to consider is your child’s circadian rhythm. In some cases, autistic children’s day and night rhythm can be different to what we would expect.

Most people feel sleepy at night and awake during the day. This is because a darker environment helps produce melatonin, and tells your body it’s time for sleep. Daylight, however, tells your body to wake up. This is a natural circadian rhythm which helps us all sleep at the right time.

But what if your body doesn’t interpret it that way? What if your body struggles to regulate day and night sleep, and therefore can’t naturally stay asleep at night?

In this case, you are likely to see frequent waking up at night that feels impossible to master by using traditional sleep methods. Sound familiar?

Anxiety

Autism and anxiety often go hand in hand with one another. This is another thing you will need to consider when working out the right sleep method and routine for your child. Sleep routines don’t just start from 7 pm like we are often told.

When anxiety is factored in, you also need to look at how to reduce this anxiety before the bedtime routine starts. Many people and sleep specialists forget this part, when actually, it’s one of the most important factors to achieving sleep solutions.

You

Now I have a task for you. Try reducing anxiety for your child before bedtime by giving them a calm activity that’s positive for them. This could be reading a book, playing trains, watching T.V. —anything that helps calm them down and helps regulate their mood.

Many families face these and so many more sleep battles each and every night. I could go on for pages explaining all the different reasons why your child needs a bespoke sleep plan, but I would have to write a book to cover them all.

There are indeed so many other areas to look at when getting the right sleep solutions for your child, and to see steady improvement. It takes time, consistency, and effort.

It also takes knowledge of how to adapt traditional sleep methods and how to implement them successfully to achieve the goals you are hoping for. It can be a wondrous road full of small victories and great successes; but first, you need the right ingredients.

One thing I always emphasize is that you are doing a great job. The fact that you want to learn about your child and how to help suggests to me you’re a great parent.

Sleep is very complex, and no one should expect you to have all the answers, especially when these answers are still being discovered. So just remember to breathe and give yourself a break at times. It’s a long journey, so don’t be hard on yourself.

If you would like to know more about how I work to get the right sleep plan for you and your child, please do get in touch. Let’s get you and your child’s sleep back on track!