How to Bring Out a Child’s Strengths

Learn about ways to nurture your autistic child’s interests to discover their strengths.

Educators, parents, and professionals must create an environment that fosters the emergence of a child’s strengths. We can’t expect a child to recognize or tell us about their strengths. We also can’t expect strengths to develop without assistance. Adults who care about a child must intentionally and proactively create situations that develop areas of strength.

There are two primary ways to bring out a child’s strengths. One is to build on any observable area of heightened ability or interest. The other is to expose a child to new activities and experiences so that previously untested or unobserved strengths can show up. For example, Temple’s revolutionary designs for live-stock processing probably would not have happened if she hadn’t been exposed to farm animals.

Any child’s interests arise from exposure, and that interest evolves into action only if they have the tools needed to nurture the interest. Interest alone is not enough. Here’s a typical scenario: one child with inherent artistic ability is never exposed to art, so his or her interest is never piqued.

A different child is taken to museums or just shown books with different types of art. The child realizes it brings pleasure and holds their interest. Perhaps the child’s parents observe that it calms them down. When a child discovers an interest but receives no art supplies, they cannot put that interest into action. Even two children equally exposed to art will probably end up very differently if one is given paint and freedom to create, while the other can only view the art of others.

Inherent strengths need nurturing. It is a rare child, autistic or not, who has the sustained drive necessary to develop an interest into a skill. Whether a child has mathematical, social, linguistic, or artistic strengths, these strengths will probably lie dormant and not turn into skills unless an adult recognizes and helps the child channel them.

Ways parents can hone their child’s interests

There are many ways adults can increase the odds that a child will hone interests and inherent strengths into useful skills:

• Get the child into new environments

Think about environments a child has never been in. If it’s a child-friendly environment, how could you arrange a visit? Could it be part of an academic lesson? Could it relate to a topic you are addressing in a child’s therapy? Would parents be open to taking the child? Examples include taking an urban child to a free art exhibit for the first time, or taking a suburban or city-bound child to a farm. If the child has never been in a factory, there are many free tours they could go on.

• Tailor new exposures to the child

The visit does not have to fit any prescribed limits. You can leave in the middle of a tour. You can just do a drive-by visit at first. Once you get creative about how to expose kids to new things, you can come up with a multitude of free places. The child does not need to have any enthusiasm for such a visit—because they’ve never been exposed to the activity or place before, expecting interest may be too much. Just take them.

• Have other adults show a child new things

Both parents and professionals can do this. Parents can introduce Johnnie to Uncle Bob, who plays the piano. Bob can play one of Johnnie’s favorite songs or show him how to play a few keys. They can play a game of guessing which note is higher of two notes. Even if the child protests at the beginning, if their eyes light up at the sound of the music, it’s all worth it. You cannot predict how a child will react.

Another child might surprise you and be interested if you take them to a neighbor’s house while that neighbor is baking cookies. Maybe they can help stir the batter or have the job of identifying and passing ingredients. A physical therapist (PT) or occupational therapist (OT) can use recipes and cooking (with play dough or even mud) as an exercise in fine and gross motor skills, sensory regulation, and turn-taking.

Any activity can be customized to a child so that skills are worked on while new experiences are being introduced. This has much more value than using objects that don’t relate to broader life activities.

“We have to get kids out of their bedrooms and into the world. It doesn’t have to cost anything—plenty of companies, factories, and workplaces will show you around. You just have to ask.” Dr. Temple Grandin, PhD.”

• Talk about people, places, and things a child has never heard of

Routinely talk about new subjects when the child is present. Perhaps the child will show absolutely no interest—that’s fine. Again, the whole idea is that no one knows what a child will find interesting, and a child cannot become intrigued by something if they don’t know it exists.

Mention new ideas and facts in school, therapy settings, recreational settings, and at home. Don’t have expectations, but if a child does show a response or asks a question, give as much information as they want. Too little, and a budding interest may fade away. Too much, and you may bore or overwhelm them. Revisit the topic later.

For example, a reading teacher who is using a book about trains could add in her own experience riding a train. She could bring in a photo or two and a map of where her trip was. She should tailor the information she shares to the specific child. For a child who loves to make sounds, they could listen to audio clips of different train whistles and learn why they are used. For a child who loves designs, she could download images of various train logos and learn where the trains are from. For a child who loves animated children’s movies, she could find out which children’s movies contain trains and find out more about one of the trains. In each instance, she takes the child’s existing interest and builds on it by introducing one more idea.

• Stretch a child’s interests into new territory

If you can already identify a child’s interest, take that topic and expand it. Use it to expose the child to related areas that may also end up as interests. Also use it to introduce the child to unrelated information by linking the interest to that new data.

For example, say Owen is interested in birds. Perhaps, at this time, he’s only interested in spotting them. Help him learn to recognize visible differences among birds or in their calls and songs.

Or show him Internet videos of exotic birds not found where he lives. You may or may not have a budding birder or aviary specialist, but using birds as a jumping off point lets you build other strengths. In this example, Owen’s speech and language therapist might be able to use bird songs as tools in improving his auditory perception, or his OT might use patterns of birds calling to each other to teach social turn taking.

This article is an edited excerpt from Navigating Autism: 9 Mindsets for Helping Kids on the Spectrum