How to Calm Your Child’s Fearful Lizard Brain

Have you heard of “Lizard Brain”? Here are some unique tips on how to soothe the anxious part of your child’s mind.

Lizard Brain. No, it’s not a scary movie or a spooky costume for Halloween. It actually refers to the limbic system, which is the primogenital, or most primitive, part of the brain. It controls mental and emotional developments, our moods, and emotions. It’s given this moniker because the limbic system is about all a lizard has for brain function.

This area of the brain, or the lizardry part, is where anxiety occurs for nearly one in four children. In fact, The Anxiety and Depression Association of America reports that 25% of children ages 13-18 experience a detrimental level of anxiety at some point—and my own students are among them.

Personally, I know how incapacitating tireless worry can be. I also know how overpowering it can be for a parent with a child who battles with anxiety. So, what can you do to help your child manage their angst?

First, stop trying to soothe your child. Lizards don’t understand human language and your child’s brain has a limited ability to process language when they are a bundle of nerves and full of fret. Your child is not disregarding your efforts to bring relief to them; they really cannot grasp when you say, “Hey, it’s just a pair of glasses. Many kids wear glasses. There’s nothing to worry about.” Because to your child, there is something to worry about.

Don’t try to reason with a lizard, instead, use the Five Finger Calming Strategy. Let’s try it out now!

Close your eyes, take a deep breath, in and out. Now slowly raise your hand and repeat and breathe…

1. Breathe in, breathe out, say “one”, and curl your thumb, leaving four fingers raised.
2. Next, your index finger. Breathe in, breathe out, say “two”, and curl down your index finger
3. Then your middle finger. Breathe in, breathe out, say “three”, lower your middle finger, leaving two remaining
4. The ring finger is next. Breathe in, breathe out, say “four”, and lower your ring finger
5. Finally, breathe in, breathe out, say “five”, and lower your pinky

How do you feel? Calm and awesome, right? Truth be told, I use this strategy every day, all the time at work. It’s a lifesaver and a great way for me to reclaim my composure and put my lizard brain into a slumber, even if it’s just for a small period of time.

The next time your child is feeling excessively anxious, try this out.

Remember, you can help, one deep breath at a time.