Parenting an Autistic Teen: Worrying About the Future While Celebrating the Present - Finding Cooper's Voice

“The diagnosis changed my plans, but it didn’t change her worth.”

That quote stopped me in my tracks because it perfectly captures something I’ve struggled to put into words.

When my daughter was little, autism felt like a series of milestones we were trying to understand. Then she became a teenager, and suddenly the future felt much bigger, much more complicated, and much heavier.

Most parents worry about their children. That’s part of loving them.

But when you have a child with significant support needs, there is an extra layer of worry that never fully leaves. At 53, I find myself thinking about things many parents may never have to consider.

Who will understand her the way I do?

Who will advocate for her when I’m gone?

Who will make sure she is safe, loved, respected, and truly seen?

Those thoughts can sit heavily on my heart.

At the same time, I get to witness something beautiful.

I get to watch her discover the world on her own timeline. I get to see the joy she finds in the things she loves. I get to watch her become exactly who she is, and unapologetically.

Sometimes people see a teenager in a costume and smile. Sometimes they stare. Sometimes their reactions are heartwarming.

Sometimes they’re crushing.

What they don’t see is the courage it takes to move through a world that isn’t always built for you.

What they don’t see is the strength it takes to parent through the uncertainty.

And what they don’t see is that grief and gratitude can exist together.